After the love is gone……I have been meaning to write about this subject for a while now but I have been debating within myself as to how I should pen my thoughts. This is a very painful sensitive topic…… Death or Divorce to me is closely related when it comes to emotions. Divorce is like death only without a burial I, unfortunately, got to experience both in this lifetime.
Divorce can be very difficult, no matter the reason for it, it completely tilts your world off its axis and triggers all sorts of painful and unsettling emotions. Hearts are broken, but all for different reasons, and you can draw strength from knowing you are not the only one. There is a deep sense of betrayal, failure, denial, anger, depression, everyone involved is crushed beneath the weight of unmet expectations. Everything you held dear to is disrupted, your routine and responsibilities, your home, your relationships with extended family and friends, your identity are all stripped away. Suddenly what was a certain future becomes uncertain, making you disoriented, wondering,…… will you ever experience happiness or love again? Unfortunately, in life there is no reset button, you cannot undo what has already been done. However, with time you can start again, there is a healing and recovery process, but how long you choose to stay in that valley of despair is all up to you. You need to be assured that this too will pass, taking those steps to recovery will ensure you come out healthier and more mature. My saving grace was throwing myself back into, God’s arms. I needed to start at one all over again so I had to look through scriptures to see what God’s word said about me, It was there that I found my identity again. His word showed me that in this life I will have situations beyond my control and lose faith in humanity, but he will never fail me, his love for me remains the same. I drew comfort from the fact that God was a restorer and an expert in putting broken things back together again. I handed him my hurts and broken dreams because he promised in Psalms 34.18 that he is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. I had to take God at his word and although at the time it felt like blind faith, I threw all reasoning out the window and became fully reliant on him for my healing and restoration. Every time doubt and despair set in I went back to his word and each time with his loving embrace brought my wounded heart back to safety and rest. I did not realise the weight I was carrying until I experienced this new found freedom. Every day became a new beginning and with baby steps, my heart learned to smile again, I saw myself with renewed eyes, I looked in the mirror and I loved the reflection looking back at me, old things became new again. Just like me you may be encountering the same, battling with the aftermath of a divorce and right now you can’t seem to see past the pain and betrayal, I’m here to assure you your better will come after your worse, but an action is required on your part to say goodbye to the past because…… life is waiting to reward you with a new hello. There is a promise of a brighter day waiting just beyond this hurdle.
The loss and pain and the ability to overcome have become my story, you to have a story to tell too, ….. it can be one of how you use your pain and loss to push through and win this round or how you allow the pain and loss to paralyse you and keep you from fulfilling your journey, you hold the pen and you get to decide how this chapter ends. So what will it be?……. Choose life….choose to live life on purpose.
* next posting will share my thoughts on death.