Advice, Inspirational, Leadership, Life Lessons, Spirituality

Living Beyond The Grave

Living Beyond The Grave……..Death is no respecter of person and does not segregate, It goes beyond creed colour, rank or status. Death crawls up on you unexpectedly like a thief in the night robbing you of your prize possession leaving a gaping hole in your life. I remember that cold winter’s night in July when death came knocking on our door. I got the news that there had been a horrific accident, my baby brother my best friend Jasper Emmanuel only 23 was now dead. For a moment it felt as if time had stood still, but the pounding of my heart jolted me back to reality. This pain in my heart hurt so bad. Jasper’s life showed such promise, I thought we still had so much more time to take, still……. so much more dreams to make, our lives were still on a journey with still so many more miles to run and good times yet still to come, we were not done making our memories. I thought we still had the rest of our lives to do that. I knew this goodbye was going to lacerate my heart into a thousand pieces because we were writing our life story with each passing day but now this story was left unfinished. The day Jasper died a piece of me died with him, I will always have a special place reserved just for him in my heart, time won’t take that away from me.
It took me a long time to deal with losing my brother to death, the hardest part was learning to live without him. They say time heals all things and for the most part, this is true, there is no right or wrong way to deal with grief and loss, healing happens naturally it cannot be forced or hurried, with my experience, there was no normal timetable for grieving, allowing the process to naturally unfold was the defining factor.
With time, I began you tell myself that my brother was gone from my sight, but he will never be gone from my heart, losing Jasper to death was hard but I was still alive I was here in the now, and his death didn’t have to be the end of my happiness. The story of my life was still unfolding. One way I could deal with the loss was to give my heart something else to love not to replace what was lost but just to make the emptiness less empty. I threw my love and energy into the life I had, a life bursting with colour, my children, my family, my calling. If I choose to quit, and if I did I would have lost two things….. my baby brother and also my purpose and destiny the reason for my life. My story too did not have to end when my brother’s did, finishing strong did not become an option it became the only option, my family, my children were depending on me.
I stopped asking questions trying to make sense of this senseless act, I made peace with the fact that there was no answer and learned to be OK with this. God in his infinite wisdom had a perfect plan even with my sorrow, I handed him my hurts and in return he breath new life into me. One day I woke up and the ache in my heart was not there anymore, I began to smile again, life took on a new meaning I valued and saw the people in my life through new eyes I began to smile again and started to live my best life now.
The next Chapter of your life won’t just happen, it all starts with you, happiness lives inside all of us. Bad things do happen; how we respond to them defines our character and the quality of our life. You can choose to sit in perpetual sadness, immobilised by the gravity of your loss, or you can choose to rise from the pain and treasure the most precious gift you have……. Life itself (WA)
Choose life…… choose to live life on Purpose. Weeping may endure for a night but joy comes in the morning (Psalms 30.5)
JCD

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